


Red

by freeze_your_heart



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bisexual Eliza Schuyler, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Good Alexander Hamilton, Implied Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Lams - Freeform, Lesbian Maria Reynolds, Marliza, Misunderstood Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Multi, Not Beta Read, Song: Heather (Conan Gray), Songfic, Vignette, Well not really, lams if you squint, maria is literally a useless lesbian, maria overanalyzes things and it gets her nowhere smh, minor lams, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeze_your_heart/pseuds/freeze_your_heart
Summary: Eliza is red.A lot of people say Eliza represented the color blue, and yes, blue is her favorite color, but whenever Maria catches Eliza’s eye in the middle of a breathy laugh-She thinks red.
Relationships: Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Kudos: 30





	Red

Eliza is red. 

A lot of people say Eliza represented the color blue, and yes, blue is her favorite color, but whenever Maria catches Eliza’s eye in the middle of a breathy laugh-

She thinks red. 

Maria can never get bored of the pristine way Eliza’s cheeks flush with a warm crimson when the cold wind lashed against her bare skin, or the sunburns that glaze themselves across her skin during the summer beach days in which she forgets to wear sunscreen, burning a bright vermillion. And she can certainly never get bored of the way Eliza’s eyes burn like a fire whenever she does kind things. 

Maria still remembers that day, the third of December. John stood next to her, it was his idea to introduce Eliza and Maria, but he was in the comfort of his own coat. Maria, on the other hand, felt the cold winter breeze spread from her fingertips to the depths of her insides, feeling like frozen ice. She watched as a young woman about their age approached them, clad in a blue trench coat dress, her soft raven hair whipping around, that flushed look on her face. 

“Eliza!” John called out, a smile plastered onto his face. 

“John!” she echoed back, wrapping her arms around him in a quick hug. Maria watched with teeth chattering. 

“You must be Maria,” Eliza said, turning to her with a warm smile. That is when Maria noticed the red bow pinned in Eliza’s hair, contrasting with the pale blue in her outfit. This observation along with the bright smile the pretty girl shot her almost warmed Maria up from head to toe. 

Almost.

She stood shivering, clutching onto her arms for warmth and finding no solace. However, Eliza Schuyler, with that damned smile pulled out a rainbow knitted scarf from her bag. 

“I made this for you,” she breathed, the smile still shining in her eyes as she talked. Her eyes were a dark brown, reminding Maria of firewood and charcoal. “John told me you liked pride stuff, and... I wanted to give you something.” 

Heart aching tenderly for someone she met a minute ago, a small smile creeped its way onto Maria’s face. “I didn’t make you anything, you don’t have to…” 

“I want to.” Eliza’s voice was sweet like honey, but firm. Maria felt weak in the knees. 

A lot of things have happened since then. Eliza is no longer a beautiful acquaintance to Maria, but now a steady, loyal friend. She helped her get through her temperate, horrible relationship with James, and Maria feels integrated into Eliza’s friend group, with John, and her sisters Angelica and Peggy, and Alex, a guy in her Journalism 101 class. She loves having sleepovers with Eliza, the two staying up until two am, staring into each other’s eyes as they discuss the dull events of the day. 

Eliza is like sunshine, warm and red, oozing her way into Maria’s heart. 

Maria trusts this girl. 

Her feelings towards Eliza have also blossomed into something beyond plain friendship and attraction. Maria feels butterflies jolt around her stomach when the tall girl approaches, suddenly feeling self conscious, looking down in embarrassment. She feels words roll off her tongue without control when speaking to her. She lets her gaze linger too long on the skin between Eliza’s shirt and pants. She feels an intense pit in her abdomen when she accidentally catches a glimpse of Eliza stripping off her shirt. 

However, despite the awkwardness of it all, Eliza makes Maria feel whole again. 

But Maria isn’t naive. She isn’t a hopeful idiot. She knows that Eliza isn’t interested in her. 

So she chooses to observe instead. She watches Eliza’s eyes crinkle up in laughter when she’s near Alex, who is not only a male, but a rather attractive one at that. Maria may be gay, but she isn’t blind. She watches Alex’s choppy brown hair settle into an unruly pile, as Eliza straightens it out impatiently, tenderness in her touch. She watches Alex’s tense posture as he walks by in the halls, and feels Eliza immediately clutch onto her arm, eyes brightening. She hears Alex’s name when Eliza gets drunk and rambles about noncoherent things, yet the only thing Maria can make out everytime is Alex. 

Why would she ever kiss Maria instead? She didn’t begin to even compare to Alex. 

So she never tells anyone. 

And Alex, as friendly as he is, Maria damns him when she sees him in the hallway, feeling guilty afterwards for feeling so bitter towards an imperfect angel of a man like him. She damns him for holding Eliza’s hand with such ease, for not even noticing the little perks in her attitude when he’s around. She damns him for being so pretty, and she knows John damns him for that as well. She damns him as she downs her fifth drink that day. 

She wants to hate him so badly, but she can’t. Alex is always there for her. He directly helped her get out of her situation with James. He helps her with her essays. He makes the funniest of jokes. He defends her and Eliza against catcalling assholes. 

And she truly and dearly loves him. 

But not like she loves Eliza. 

How stupid Maria must be to think she could compare to him. She thinks this as she lets out an unsightly belch, causing a few around her to cringe. Eliza hasn’t even told Maria that she likes Alex but she already knows the truth. She’s watching them right now, as they dance, light-hearted and carefree, sweat on both of their faces, somehow giving them both a youthful glow. 

It’s not that Maria doesn’t like how she looks. Maria actually became quite confident in her appearance since breaking up with James, wearing the red that reminded her so much of Eliza, and complementing her own curves. She knows she is beautiful. 

But Alex is so much more… relaxed. He doesn’t put effort into his appearance and he still looks devilishly handsome. Alex doesn’t worry about defining his relationships, he doesn’t focus on the past and let that anxiety get to him. Alex doesn’t need to try so hard on his essays like Maria does to get full marks, he just earns them because he’s naturally gifted. Everything about him is so natural, especially the way he fits with Eliza. 

Maria is just waiting for Eliza to say it. She is waiting for her to say, “I love Alex.” She is waiting for the romantic tension between the two to resolve itself. She is waiting for the moment of heartbreak, where Eliza isn’t even a remote possibility. 

So maybe if she prepares for it now, it won’t be as scary when it comes. 

Voices are clustered in her brain, the color red flashing in her eyes. It’s still beautiful, but now it’s painful to see, and Maria just wishes it would go away. She hears Eliza’s honey-like voice whisper soothing words about Maria having drunk too much, and that she’ll take her home. But she doesn’t care. She just wants to hold Eliza tightly, and tell her she loves her. She wants to be selfish, after months of just watching her heart unfold. 

She hears Eliza call her a good friend. Angry at herself for being so selfish, she bursts out. 

“I love you. More than a friend, I mean."

The bomb was dropped, a lot more anticlimactic than she anticipated the confession being. Not that she imagined it. Tears are running down her cheeks, and she feels Eliza wrap her arms around her. She barely hears the "I love you, too." 

Maria’s vision is blurry and her eyes are painfully open. She can’t close them, though, because all she sees is red and she wants it to stop. Why would Eliza say that-

Oh.

But she can't love her, Maria didn't observe all those signs for nothing. 

"I love you, too."

But maybe Maria is wrong. 

Maybe she isn't being selfish, maybe she is being too selfless. Maybe she is looking into signs that aren't even there, just so she can't have Eliza. 

Because the first thing that Maria sees before blacking out is a bright, beaming smile.

And maybe Eliza thinks Maria is red, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god,,, this started off as a vent fic and then turned into a... vent fic. i based this heavily off of the songs heather by conan gray, adored by him by dodie, and also my personal feelings. oof.


End file.
